As parents, we know that it’s our duty to clear the path to our child’s happiness and success. But how do we know if we are doing the right thing?
That’s the question that hasn’t popped in my mind until recently when I met Carrie Lupoli, an Education and Parenting Expert, in an intimate merienda session at Mom’s and Tina’s bakery cafe in Quezon City. Three more moms were with us, all respected moms too (Mommy Ginger of mommyginger.com, Mommy Glaiza of moomymusings.com and Mommy Badette of themisischronicles.com) which made the day more interesting and somewhat eye-opening for me.
Grabbed from Mommy Ginger’s instagram 🙂 L-R Ginger, Glaiza, Noa, Carrie, Lanie w/ Mariel, Badette
As an ice breaker, Carrie asked each one of us our greatest parenting moment and the worst one. Carrie shared to us that one of her best moments is when her daughter wrote her a letter about how she loves her and that Carrie is doing good filling up her “box”. As we learned from Carrie later, that box represents every good things (the values that we teach, the memories that we share with each other) we teach our children which they will carry when they eventually move out or live on their own.
The best part of that day for me was when Carrie gave us the cheat sheet of what she will be talking about come Saturday, June 7, in Glorietta where she will be speaking for Play IQ Workshop. I’ve learned from her that, in reality, although no one can predict the future, we as parent will know and will be able to raise our children to be independent and successful adults! And parents can start doing that as soon as they are born, imagine that?
Carrie explained that parents who have babies must understand that this is a crucial stage when their child’s brain is at it’s peak to absorb all the learning it can take. The baby’s mind is like a clean slate of paper free for the parents to write on. Parents must then encourage their child for interactive play where they are exposed to different kinds of learning (physical, cognitive, social and emotional).
What about for parents like me who have have more mature kids? The same principles still apply and our primary goal as a parent is to teach them to be independent. They can be happy living with us, lazy and jobless as some parents may have been permitting their grown-up kids to do. But do we want that for our child? Of course not. We want them to be happy and successful with their own career, with their own families eventually, feeling emotionally, financially, and socially satisfied and valued by others.
There are actually 10 key ways shared by Carrie on how we can make our children independent and successful.
First, is to provide physical affection and emotional security to our children. They need to feel that we love them but not to the point of spoiling them. We don’t need to be a hundred percent there all the time but it’s important that we are there when they need us.
Secondly, we need to encourage our children to interact with others. Small kids may have this phase when they do what Carrie called as “parallel” playing or when they play by themselves even if there are other kids by their side. Let them be because eventually, they will reach out with their playmates. For my older kids, social interaction is starting to be a need, not a want. And because of that, they are also starting to encounter emotional challenges with their peers. My role as a parent is to let them handle these challenges by themselves no matter how strong the urge of coming in between is.
Third, is to promote child initiated play or exploration. Through interactive toys, children will learn how to invent their own games, think of how they can build or win against the toys, and deal with frustrations when they always don’t get what they want.
It will take several more pages to explain what’s the fourth to the tenth but they will be tackled on Saturday by Carrie. It’s free admission and participants are getting prizes too so take this rare opportunity, really.
As for me, I still see the path of my kids to be not that smooth yet. Sometimes, I feel that there are more than bad parenting moments than good ones. But I am happy to know that there is always hope and that we, as their parents, can do something to even their paths.
Fisher-Price Play IQ Workshop
Date: Saturday, June 7, 2014
Time: 10:00am-4:00pm
Workshop Proper: 11:00am-1:00pm
Venue: Glorietta Activity Center, Palm Drive
Call (632)442–0702 for inquiries
