As my kids approach their teenage years, I’ve started to notice behaviors that were not there before. And it pained me a lot. I didn’t realize that parenting can hurt you that much if you get too sensitive about it. If you have kids who roll their eyes sometimes when you try to discipline or teach them something, and you are annoyed to the max, welcome to my world.
You Are Not Alone
Yes, I’ve easily thought that its only my kids. And sometimes we parents have a problem with that. We often idealize other people’s kids and we question ourselves, why are my kids like that and why other families have kids that are so “kind, respectful, etcetera”. More often than not, there are more things than what our eyes see. I’ve asked around, some from my friends who have kids also, and they too, had problems with their kids. Not that we are happy about that but the point is, that kids undergo behavioral changes when they reach a certain age.
Not Normal But
Rolling eyes are not normal nor they should be tolerated but before our blood curl whenever our tweens or teens roll eyes on us, it became helpful for me to read and get different point of views.
They are irritated and so they want to irritate you. Our grown up kids know what they are doing when they roll their eyes. Unlike little kids, they know that they will get your attention by doing something like this. I noticed that my eldest rolls her eyes when my “sermon” gets too long. And whenever she does that, I flare up and the longer my sermon will take. But her action make me think at the same time, that maybe, I am getting repetitive na, and so I stop.
What I do now is, that I tell my daughter, “Are you willing to listen now or not because I’m seeing you doing that. If not, we can talk again later.” She’ll immediately know that I mean business but if she is not up to talking that moment, she can tell me.
Ever Changing Behaviors
Tweens undergo behavior changes , and rolling their eyes can just be their own way to express some feelings.
This is the time when our kids are trying to find their own identities. It’s when I stopped comparing them when they were kids na they were angelic, ang bait-bait. I even cry sometimes when I miss those times and then I feel that my kids don’t love me anymore (super nega). Pero that’s not the case. Of course they love us, they are just not those little babies anymore who are very cuddly and always kissing mommy. They are transitioning already and maybe, they get the behavior from their friends, from what they see in the movies or tv or even in the books that they read. The most important lesson here is that “rolling eyes” can be a way of our teens to express their feelings or irritation. But maybe, when we help them be able to tell us or talk to us with confidence, when they are in the good mood or bad mood, they do not need to sort to any other ways, like rolling their eyes, or saying bad side comments (the whispering thing).
These days, I admit that I can still catch my kids doing this but not that often. And I become more patient, and push myself to stop thinking negative things about them or myself. The air becomes a lot thinner and we accomplish more by becoming more understanding to each other.
Do you have more tips when dealing with your teens? Share them! I know there are many moms like me who can relate.
Useful reading sources:
http://www.chicagotribune.com/lifestyles/sc-fam-0623-teen-eye-rolling-20150617-story.html
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/radical-teaching/201305/what-do-about-your-teenager-s-eye-roll
